You know how they say “death comes in threes?” Well, awkward moments apparently come in threes too.
Awkward Moment #1: I went to the post office to mail out a package today when I ran into none other than Pastor Harris. Yes, P.Diddy himself for those OG KCS members old enough to remember when people called him that. Needless to say I was REALLY caught off guard. I never see Pastor Harris on campus even though he works right at Crouse Hospital. I actually can’t imagine Pastor Harris living a life outside of church. You know what I mean? I feel like when pastors are done preaching on Sundays, they just eat/sleep/live at church. Can you see Pastor Harris going grocery shopping? Or to the movies or something? Strange. And to make things worse, I wasn’t sure what to call him. Do I call him Pastor Harris still even though we’re not at church and he’s not a full-time pastor? Or do I call him Mr. Harris? I feel like Pastor Harris is one of those guys who would say “Mr. Harris is my father, call me…” And yes, I was thinking about all of these questions during the two-second time span when I should have responded to Pastor Harris saying hi to me — creating an awkward lag in the conversation that never started.
Awkward Moment #2: My supervisor at the Sheraton wanted me to go and interview our head engineer guy down in the basement (or the dungeon, as he likes to call it). So I was standing by the elevator to go visit him when two punk high school kids show up (there’s a bajillion of them at the hotel this week for some kind of conference). Anyways, they were scoping me out, which is gross because they were born in the late ’90s, but I didn’t want to cause a scene and confront them. A few seconds later, their friend shows up and I can see him out of the corner of my eye and he’s pointing in my direction and making weird gestures as if to say, “tap that shit.” At this point, I’m kinda getting frustrated. I turn around with a comeback ready and stashed in my brain when I see this one lady gesturing to that guy that was behind me. It finally clicks right then and there that he wasn’t saying “tap that shit.” He’s deaf. He was using sign language -_____-
Awkward Moment #3: I was in Schine donating blood and I guess it’s standard for the blood-pumper-outers to try and strike up a conversation with you so that you don’t feel awkward. HAHA as if that’s possible with me. So I’m making small talk with this random lady. She’s asking me about my major and such, but I’m not much of a talker, especially when my life force is literally being sucked out of my body and neatly packaged in a pouch. Soon enough, she gets bored with me and is about to walk away when one of her co-workers starts laughing hysterically in the corner. She says, “That must be Jorge. Wow, he’s having a little fiesta over there.” I tried to brush off the comment, which is borderline racist, but ended up replying, “That’s not very PC awkward chuckle awkward chuckle.” Her happy-go-lucky-daisies-and-sunshine-are-my-life face disappeared in 0.324 seconds flat.
So yeah, that’s just a normal day in my life. I legit think I should quit this general blog and make one devoted solely to my awkward encounters. They seem to be increasing as I get older, so plenty of material to blog about -______-